Poetry by A. R. Lamb

from In Many Ways Frogs
(available from Abraxas Booklist)

After university Tony Lamb worked as a farm-labourer and a builder before training to become a bronze-founder. He began to produce his own sculpture in 1976, since when he has exhibited continuously all over England. Writes as trancedly as possible, with practical help from oxygen, sugar, nicotine, caffeine etc. His early experimental fiction was published by John Calder. He is currently working on an interminable comic novel and a collection of stories, besides a producing a stream of new bronzes.                 

                  the bogs
 
 
the bogs
the giant bogboats
the dumb men wrapped in scarves and bandages
the mucous mist
the torn women with their ladles and their groans
the shabby heron
the wormy children dreaming of the sun
the featherless hens shivering in the hold
 
all vanished
and all yet to come
to come
 
                  in many ways frogs
 
 
in many ways frogs resemble humans
more closely than do monkeys
monkeys don’t swim unless they have to
and they certainly don’t dive
monkeys willingly go into space
surrounded by hardware
commanded by software
their eyes bloodshot and bulging
the static crackling
with their crummy jokes
their hearts disintegrating
their bones melting
their eyes expanding
to fill the craters of the moon
with fruitless dust
 
frogs on the other hand
can see the moon in the pond
can hear the moon bubbling
with the life of the pond
can dive into the moon
any time they feel like it
and with a single gulp can devour
both earthly and heavenly bread
 
 
                  it’s just
 
 
it’s just a joke, said Zeno
it’s just a justajoke
it’s just a justajustajoke
and so on
 
and so on these rungs he climbed
but no-one else followed
everyone else thinking them unsafe
 
and so he was alone in space
which was funny enough
but a little too peaceful for comfort -
he needed some friction
 
and so he rubbed his backside against the atmosphere
producing a delightful shower
of shooting stars
which everyone down below
who happened to be looking up
mistook for meteors
 
                  Vermeer came  to
 
 
Vermeer came to me in a dream
he spoke through the back of his head:
my brushes have gone hard
my face has faded
so that I could be anyone
 
don’t worry, I said
I found a solvent
and brought his brushes back
to their primeval condition
and restored the features of his face
 
that’s better, he said
when his tears had dried
 
while we’re at it, he said
taking off his clothes
to reveal a white silhouette
you can do your stuff on the rest of me
 
using all the tricks of the illusionist’s trade
I reintroduced his body to the third dimension
 
feels good, he said
then he saw his navel
o my God! he screamed
what’s this?
 
                  when a meteorite lands
 
 
when a meteorite lands in his soup
the chef is severely scalded
he is also severely cut by glass from the broken skylight
he is taken away from his job and put into a hospital
he is presented with the meteorite as compensation
he smashes the meteorite against the head of his bed
twenty-four spacelings fall to the floor and begin to squeak
they cure the chef of his burns, his cuts and his anxieties
they charm the matron into letting him go
they live in the chef’s maisonette
they breed like flies
eventually there are so many of them
the chef can no longer breathe
he dies and they overrun the world
the world dies
and they convert it into a soup-kitchen
oh yes

                  the steeples pierced
 
the steeples pierced the membrane
that was their function
otherwise the fenmen would be blind
as well as tiny
 
the clouds the sky the stars the moon
and all that infinite depth
were mere illusions engraved upon the membrane
 
superstition was their lifeblood
everything meant something
 
they walked on yesterday’s on tomorrow’s oysterbeds
 
what with the inbreeding
a lot of hermaphrodites were born
and instead of being strangled or scorned were worshipped
their pockets filled with lead
to prevent them from ascending
 
wherever possible  they were secreted
beneath the altar tablecloth before service began
the clergy were none the wiser
 
the fenmen denied nothing
after all
what is an hermaphrodite
but a living cross?

                  a man was creeping
 
a man was creeping about in the garden
in the night
so she put on her son’s bear mask
and went out
and silently confronted him
 
this was perhaps the most surprising experience
the prowler had ever had
as soon as he’d fainted
she went in and called the police
then she came out and put the mask on the man
 
two policemen arrived
and experienced surprise
the prowler-bear sat up
and they experienced fear
they moved round behind her
what is it? asked one
I don’t know, she shivered
 
she didn’t know
she could only think
as the entity got up
and lolloped away on all fours
that the mask was inflicting
its own punishment
upon the man
 
                  she was the light
 
 
she was the light
the whole light
and nothing but the light
 
whereas he
was a mere sparkleton
who’d happened to stray into her path
 
her rhapsodies invented themselves as they went along
one moment they might be goldfinch trills
the next the moan of an abysmal whale
 
he quivered accordingly
 
                  she took me
 
 
she took me in her arms
as though I were a bag of washing
laundered me
as though I were a stolen banknote
dried me
as though I were a testicle plum
pruned me
as though I were a tree of knowledge
burned me
as though I were an autumn sacrifice
 
I flew up yelling into the air
I would return
passed on from wind to wind
I would circumnavigate the planet
solidify behind her back
tap her on the shoulder
crave admission to her righteousness
 
the speed of re-entry is critical
likewise the angle
 
 
                  she lies beneath
   
 
she lies beneath her canopy
of green light
but who am I to stop there?
yes, my tale runs on
into her mossy places
 
indeed, what am I
but a tributary of her Amazon
and what are my tributes
but shoals of quicksilver?
 
 
 
                  she’s recently doubled
 
 
she’s recently doubled
the number of meals she eats
which I find quite touching
 
the easiest thing to forget
is that you’re not locked in
 
if she wishes to expand then who am I
to do anything but eulogise?
 
loose clothes stretchy clothes
she grows triumphantly beneath them
 
as a devout materialist I am bound
to love her twice as much
when she is sixteen stone
as when she was eight
 
 
 
                  she was a jungle
 
 
she was a jungle she writhed
with the snake of it dripped
with the leaf of it gave birth
to the pigmy of it
 
I was callous to her fervour blind
to her grace
I couldn’t see the sun
shafting down through her trees
or the glint of diamonds
in her mossy places
I could only betray her
 
 
                  on misty days
 
 
on misty days she glistened
on sunny days she shone
 
her halo hovered like mistletoe
above her head:
you had to kiss her
to make sure she was true
and not too good to be
 
 
                  her features
 
 
her features are like birds
I see them everywhere
in black hair migrating from head to head
in eyelashes feathered with mascara
in the undergrowth which hops
from crotch to crotch
 
                  she would wash
 
 
she would wash her face with a lemon
she would put a pie to bake in the fridge
she would confuse her husband with her son
she would mistake the pier for a bridge
 
she knew the sea well
but the sea didn’t know her at all
and often tried to drown her
 
her rescuers came in droves
swimming all kinds of exotic strokes
but the life they saved was not a happy one
 
when they laid her on the pebbles
and resuscitated her
she was grateful
not for what they’d done
but for what they thought they’d done

 
                  first she becomes
 
 
first she becomes wretched
then she becomes unconscious
then she becomes an emergency
 
the stomach-pump saves her every time
 
when she resurfaces
she pretends not to enjoy
some warm milk
some undivided attention  
 
 
                  I know she’s adream
 
 
I know she’s adream now
her feathery body falls
from my leaning tower
 
she lands in two moons
at the end
of my tubular eye 

 
                  although we don’t
 
 
although we don’t speak Siamese any more
although her spades have buried my hearts
and her clubs have bludgeoned my diamonds
she still provides for me in her will:
 
I inherit the ship at the end of her slipway
the desert on the other side of her sea
her crusade across the desert
her triumph over Infidelity 
 
 
                  her lips were
 
 
her lips were like lips
her eyes were like eyes
her hair was like hair
her heart was like a metaphor
 
I was proud to be her only drawback
without me she’d have been perfect
if she’d been perfect the world
would have collapsed
I was proud to be guarding the world
from her perfection
 
                  a green tent
 
 
a green tent suddenly pitched itself around her
‘now we’ll see what you’re made of’
said the surgeon who was wearing it
 
well
if his eyes were anything to go by
she was made of moss
moss you could rub your cheeks against
moss you could nestle your hopes upon
 
she maintained this moisture
until the tent dismantled itself and fled
she’d never cared for the piercing sensation
which accompanies a surgeon’s right hand
nor had she cared for the nomadic existence
 
 
                  the midwife fainted
 
 
the midwife fainted and was carried from the ward
with an electrical storm raging beneath her uniform
 
her landmarks were illuminated in flashes
her pinnacles and her steeples sharp
against her starched sky
 
herself went into highspeed labour
and gave birth to a baby ball of lightning
neither male nor female
which floated through the maternity wing
pursued by orderlies with buckets of darkness
 
                  married to the moon
 
 
married to the moon once
now divorced
 
no longer can I ski softly down her slopes
no longer bounce slowly among her shadows
 
no longer the high and the ebb of it
no longer the crescent and the sphere of it
 
married to the moon once
now eclipsed
 
                  knitted a quilt
 
 
knitted a quilt for you my dear
a quilt of water to keep you warm in your stony bed
a quilt of flowing water to wash the grit from your dreams
a quilt of heavy water to help you feel secure
 
don’t wake up when I speak to you
don’t hear what I’m saying with anything
so corny as your ears
hear me with your herd of tulips
hear me with your flock of plums
 
don’t forget my favourite drink is tulip milk
and my most cherished garment a plumskin coat
 
 
                  I  realise
 
 
I realise that once I was a miller
in probably Flanders
once I used whatever blew my way
 
on calm days I trudged through the mud
of my sleeping wife’s dreams
with only the occasional pigeon for company
and only the emptiness in the pigeon’s stomach
to remind me of my hunger
 
on windy days I became the fulcrum
of the invisible world
beneath my very stone
birdfood was transformed
into manfood
 
 
                  as the sea
 
 
as the sea came into him
so the spirit went out of him
 
the spirit received mercy and function
the body received rigor and drifted
in an easterly direction
winding up several weeks later at Brixham
to be identified by his dentist and buried
 
it’s a queer tribe to belong to
the tribe of dead divers
doleful yet vaguely important
 
 
                  things above
 
 
‘things above are better than things below
but all creation is better than things above’
 
Augustine’s aphorism embodies
the Golden Ratio:
A is to B
as A plus B is to A
 
so we are justified
geometrically as well as historically
when we say:
‘the spiritual Augustine is better
than the sensual
but the whole of Augustine
is better than the spiritual’
 
 
                  here they come
 
 
here he comes, like a parrot on parole
here she comes, like an off-duty haddock
 
he speaks all the words he knows
while she sits there gasping for something
 
he, not noticing that she resembles a haddock,
thinks she is gasping for air
she, not noticing that he resembles a parrot,
thinks his words ought to make more sense
 
because they have no love for simile
they leave each other stranded
 
 
                  there was a thrush
 
 
there was a thrush whose attention
I wished to attract
so I pretended to be a snail
 
but when she picked me up
and started beating me against a stone
I began to regret
not for the first time
my ridiculous talent for mimicry
 
 
                  the trouble with
 
 
the trouble with being a medium
is you don’t have any choice
 
you don’t even have the illusion of choice
which everyone else enjoys
 
instead of a spine
you have a marimba
 
instead of a ribcage
you have a resonating chamber
 
 
                  at one point Zeno
 
 
at one point Zeno descends upon the world
and bites off an infinitesimal lump
but even this is more than he can chew
because his teeth
although not really false
are also not particularly true
 
 
                  they were working late
 
 
they were working late at the ovary palace
the supervisor screeched her orders to the children
who scuttled to and fro across the slippery floor
 
up aloft
in a perspex cradle suspended from the ceiling
lay an enormous baby
 
this was Dormund
sole survivor
of last year’s fire
 
 
                  scowling
 
 
scowling in Antwerp -
three vermilion chalkmarks denote my presence
 
my wife and her sister carefully fold their wings
they won’t need them for another year
 
hear one whisper to the other -
‘I got him some tongue for his tea’
 
 
 
                  a blackbird hopped
 
 
a blackbird hopped
into my three o’clock skull
the heart of the blackbird
beat me back into shape
 
now I was no fluctuation
in no vacuum
now I knew nothing about no cosmic egg
 
 
 
                  the lucky monkey
 
 
the lucky monkey can look out
through the mesh
of its laboratory cage
and see Darwin’s descendants
tossing coins
and unpacking packets of scalpels
 
 
                  sometimes
 
 
sometimes the spirit doubts the body
this is known as idealism
sometimes the body doubts the spirit
this is known as scepticism
sometimes the spirit denies the body
this is known as asceticism
sometimes the body denies the spirit
this is known as materialism
sometimes the spirit believes in the body
this is known as athleticism
sometimes the body believes in the spirit
this is known as credulism
sometimes the spirit knows the body
this is known as gnosticism
sometimes the body knows the spirit
this is known as gnosticism
 
 
                  like a little
 
 
like a little fruit-pie
say blackberry and apple
which is designed and made
and packaged and bought
and bitten into and thrown away
and no-one ever even bothers
to feel sorry for it
except perhaps the occasional schizophrenic
 
 
 
                  when I saw a cow
 
 
when I saw a cow drinking
from its own udder
all the previous sense I’d made of life
evaporated
 
 
                  it looks as though
 
 
it looks as though I’m  ploughing
purely for the benefit of the seagull
but I’m not
I’m also doing it for my wife
who lies at home in a Dutch cupboard
with more babies than sense
and more sense than money
 
 
 
                  I wasn’t enough of
 
 
I wasn’t enough of  a cormorant today
my wings were too wet
my neck was too short
my beak was too soft
my legs were too long
my trying was too hard
 
another day I might rectify these faults
and find everything at all
 
 
                  at any given moment
 
 
at any given moment the story is complete
the elephant can look down
and see the end of its tusk
the mammoth can look back
and see the end of its line
 
 
                  the early cat
 
 
the early cat catches
the early bird
catching the worm
 
in other words
a stitch in time
saves nine in eternity
 
 
                  in order to be
 
 
in order to be a psychologist
you must first become alienated
 
then you sit around gawping at rats
and playing with top-heavy words
 
you even think you’re saying something
about the rats
but all you’re really saying is:
‘Mummy, Mummy, look at me. I’m a psychologist.’
 
 
                  others
 
 
others say:
bring back the birch
bring back the gallows
bring back the rack
 
but we say:
bring back the ornamental hermit
 
 
                  after all
 
 
after all the struggle merely reaffirms itself
as the conflict between surface and depth
where surface is the fallen leaf
which looks like a frog
and depth the frog
which looks like a fallen leaf
 
 
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